Controversial grammar chat

When someone uses grammar incorrectly, do you make an instant assumption about his or her education or intelligence? Whether we like it or not, words, spelling and punctuation are important and when you speak multiple languages, as we do at OH LA VACHE, you become the grammar police.

We appreciate (a little) that even the most educated people often unknowingly make simple errors. Everyone is human, right? Living and growing up in Yorkshire, we have our language and other battles with the children (and sometimes teacher colleagues!)

However, here are some funny mistakes that make us LAUGH:

Je suis chaud

Yes, we know you’re trying to say you’re warm but actually you’re telling us confidently that you’re horny and ready for it! Not sure we needed that information when we’re dealing with sweltering heat!!!


Año = years

Ano = anus


Brüste vs. Bürste

If you ask somebody to borrow their Brüste they may look at you slightly oddly. You’ve just asked them to borrow their breast. Really? Don’t like your own? Well you should! I’m sure they’re fantastic.

Instead you need to ask for their Bürste. Their hairbrush – and they’ll be a lot happier!


Be careful you little Italian speakers and know your shit before ordering at a restaurant.

Penne = nation’s favourite pasta

Pene = male genitals

Penna = pen

Pane = bread

What you don’t want to do is as “vorrei un po’ di pene” meaning“I would like a little bit of penis”. Unless you’re bold and would.

oggi ho mal di tetta

Phoning up work to give an excuse as to why you’re off/sunbathing – this one will shut them up with no questions asked but I’m assuming it’s not what you meant?

Oggi ho mal di tetta – Today I’ve got tit-ache

I think it’s more likely you’ve got mal di testa! Head ache?

Last one for today….it’s a good one!


‘ho incontrato i genitali di Roberto’ you are telling me that you met Roberto’s genitals not his parents, “genitori’

I spat my tea out at the last one. That’s it for now. Have you got a funny one?

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